PERSPECTIVES (6/20)

Toronto enjoys dubious distinction

by S. Sterling Hudnall


I can't say I do much on the web aside
from the proverbial male attaches so closely
relagated to an empty room and a four hour marathon
thumbnail site stint (bunnyteens and OTBM dot coms
being my favs), but I can say I have found several
interesting pages that have so enticed me I plan to take
trips to the places these websites so proudly boast.
One of the destinations I plan on getting to is the city
of Toronto, Canada.

I have read many a wonderful thing about the lovely
Toronto. The first European to stand on the shores of
Lake Ontario in the vicinity of what is now Toronto
was French explorer Etienne Brule. He most likely takes
credit for establishing the area firstly as his home.
He was part of an expedition led by Samuel Champlain
in 1608 that resulted in the founding of Quebec, a
shit of a city. But, much to the folley of our history
books, the Toronto region had been populated for at
least ten thousand years before the arrival of Brule
in 1615. Toronto was said to have had the first
overpass, first indoor theater and first abortion
clinic.

It is also my begrudging belief Brule hadn't intended
on the area becoming such an oasis when headed back
across the pond to tell his queen of the Torontous
patch. No, Toronto knew where it was headed.

Some might think Toronto had a mind of it's own. Some
might believe Toronto to have been the ninth wonder of
the world. Some might say Toronto took the 'back door
approach' at conquering the rest of the Great White
North. Some might think of San Francisco, the upper
east side of Manhattan, the Oak Lawn area of Dallas,
the entire city of Boulder, the back rivers of the
Sierra Nevada or the streets of Philadelphia to be the
homo-mecca of this hemisphere. But, friends tried and
true, they would be sadly wrong--it's Toronto!

If you don't believe me you need to get a glance at
the monument erected in downtown T-ville.
Toronto passed a citywide vote on what their city
would be known for (it was 'gayness). Some people
have suggested changing the name of the city itself.

"I think Faggette would be a nice name. 'Welcome to
Faggette, the home of the queerest folk in the world!'
just has a great ring to it," said Brock Dupree, a
Toronton. "My children will be proud to have been
raised in the most tolerant of cities in the world.
While those Sand Spics across in the Middle East
choke on camel hump-spew and heroin tar all day, my kids
will learn how to coexist with civilized gay-ites.
Also, a good name would be Reamerton, Canada."

However you like your eggs, fried or poached, it seems
that Toronto, Canada has something to offer. While
the Alexander Wood monument most surely was made by a
straight man--sweating and gyrating over an anvil,
sledge in hand--the gay community of Toronto was out
making a difference as well. This monument is a true
figurehead of how both Fairy and Family Man can get
along side-by-side (or in Wood's case, a bit different
of an arrangement).


S. Sterling Hudnall is the Terrance R. Matthews Professor
of Divinity at Texas Women's University in Denton. He may
be reached at hud-stud@twu.edu

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On the Web:

Statue of gay hero draws flak

Toronto's official site