PERSPECTIVES (6/27)

China gears up for showdown

Bastion contributing editor Dr. Turdock R. Ferguson investigates worldwide alarm over China's recent military buildup and the prospects of war with the U.S.

by Dr. Turdock R. Ferguson


The 'powers that be' at The Bastion have informed me that if I wish to keep earning a check, I must actually contribute some sort of work to the project. The editor suggested that perhaps I could write about the global implications of China's military buildup. This should be no problem of course, considering the fact that they stuck me here in the middle of Communist China with no training in their language or any other support aside from a paltry salary that barely keeps the light (singular) on in my coffin-of-an-apartment.

I hadn't heard anything previously about a military buildup, so my first step was to find an English newspaper. After searching for most of the day, I finally found a month-old Seattle Post-Intelligencer from a black market dealer for 78,000 yen (roughly $12). There was nothing in it about a buildup.

I next decided to find out if anti-U.S. public opinion was running high among Chinese citizens. I put on my favorite American flag t-shirt and marched through a crowded marketplace. The insults began almost immediately.

"Look, it's roundeyed crazy man again!"

"Watch out, here come that American who always crying!"

"Now it your turn to build railroads for us!"

I quickly escaped, making it back to the relative safety of my flat before violence erupted. I had at least established that the Chinese hated us, but why? That question would prove harder to answer.

I wanted to place a call to the offices of China's president but didn't have a translator. After another half-day of running around, I finally secured the services of a young boy, Jiechi. For 307,000 yen (around $50), young Jiechi relayed my queries back-and-forth to the President's spokesman:

Q: Are you guys building up your military?

A: No.

Q: Don't lie...

A: Okay, we build it up, but just a little bit.

Q: Are you guys going to try to attack America or something?

A: Oh no, we love America very much.

Q: Are you guys going to try to attack Taiwan?

A: Oh yes, we attack Taiwan, we attack them long time.

Q: Why do you guys hate America so much?

A: Oh no, we love America. Love America very much.

At this point I relayed to him my experience at the marketplace. The spokesman explained that those people probably only hated me for some reason, but they certainly don't hate all Americans.

Running out of options, I arranged a meeting with an American whom I met while in this country. I won't mention his name due to the fact that he's hiding-out here to escape tax evasion and money laundering indictments in the States. We met at a local tavern, and I loosened him up with a few strong drinks (not the normal roofie-colada cocktail that I was famous for back home). I explained my predicament to him hoping that he had a contact of some sort that would help me break this thing open.

He didn't.

And that's when I gave up--don't feel sorry for me though, I'm used to failing.

I hate my life so much.

Dr. Turdock R. Ferguson is a contributing editor for The Bastion based in Beijing. He became a freelance reporter in 1997 following the loss of his medical license.

---

On the Web:

Pentagon: China may invade Taiwan, pull U.S. into war

CIA Factbook info on China

Globalsecurity.org looks at China's military

PERSPECTIVES (6/20)

Toronto enjoys dubious distinction

by S. Sterling Hudnall


I can't say I do much on the web aside
from the proverbial male attaches so closely
relagated to an empty room and a four hour marathon
thumbnail site stint (bunnyteens and OTBM dot coms
being my favs), but I can say I have found several
interesting pages that have so enticed me I plan to take
trips to the places these websites so proudly boast.
One of the destinations I plan on getting to is the city
of Toronto, Canada.

I have read many a wonderful thing about the lovely
Toronto. The first European to stand on the shores of
Lake Ontario in the vicinity of what is now Toronto
was French explorer Etienne Brule. He most likely takes
credit for establishing the area firstly as his home.
He was part of an expedition led by Samuel Champlain
in 1608 that resulted in the founding of Quebec, a
shit of a city. But, much to the folley of our history
books, the Toronto region had been populated for at
least ten thousand years before the arrival of Brule
in 1615. Toronto was said to have had the first
overpass, first indoor theater and first abortion
clinic.

It is also my begrudging belief Brule hadn't intended
on the area becoming such an oasis when headed back
across the pond to tell his queen of the Torontous
patch. No, Toronto knew where it was headed.

Some might think Toronto had a mind of it's own. Some
might believe Toronto to have been the ninth wonder of
the world. Some might say Toronto took the 'back door
approach' at conquering the rest of the Great White
North. Some might think of San Francisco, the upper
east side of Manhattan, the Oak Lawn area of Dallas,
the entire city of Boulder, the back rivers of the
Sierra Nevada or the streets of Philadelphia to be the
homo-mecca of this hemisphere. But, friends tried and
true, they would be sadly wrong--it's Toronto!

If you don't believe me you need to get a glance at
the monument erected in downtown T-ville.
Toronto passed a citywide vote on what their city
would be known for (it was 'gayness). Some people
have suggested changing the name of the city itself.

"I think Faggette would be a nice name. 'Welcome to
Faggette, the home of the queerest folk in the world!'
just has a great ring to it," said Brock Dupree, a
Toronton. "My children will be proud to have been
raised in the most tolerant of cities in the world.
While those Sand Spics across in the Middle East
choke on camel hump-spew and heroin tar all day, my kids
will learn how to coexist with civilized gay-ites.
Also, a good name would be Reamerton, Canada."

However you like your eggs, fried or poached, it seems
that Toronto, Canada has something to offer. While
the Alexander Wood monument most surely was made by a
straight man--sweating and gyrating over an anvil,
sledge in hand--the gay community of Toronto was out
making a difference as well. This monument is a true
figurehead of how both Fairy and Family Man can get
along side-by-side (or in Wood's case, a bit different
of an arrangement).


S. Sterling Hudnall is the Terrance R. Matthews Professor
of Divinity at Texas Women's University in Denton. He may
be reached at hud-stud@twu.edu

---

On the Web:

Statue of gay hero draws flak

Toronto's official site

'Ground control to Major Tom...'

Space travel coming to Texas
by Jody L. Slaughter

A Seattle-based space travel company, Blue Origin, has announced plans to build a spaceport near the small West Texas town of Van Horn. The venture could begin making commercial passenger flights into space within the next several years.

Representatives of the usually-secretive company met with the Van Horn community on Tuesday to outline their plans for 165,000-acre site which is owned by Amazon.com founder and Blue Origin backer Jeff Bezos. The land is part of the Corn Ranch in Culberson County.



According to the company's Web site, the facility will be used for the testing and operation of their Reusable Launch Vehicle (RLV). The craft will take off and land vertically and carry three or more passengers into space. Blue Origin must complete an Environmental Assessment and obtain an FAA Commercial Launch Operator license before launches can begin. Flight testing is planned for late 2006.

Blue Origin is not alone in its quest for passenger space travel, however. Other companies racing into space include SpaceShipOne, Armadillo Aerospace and Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic.

PERSPECTIVES (6/13)

A Pirated Movie Review

by Aaron Bennett Presley, esq.

Disclaimer: This is a simple publier un dementi fortifying your worst of assumptions. This column will not be a reassessment, analysis, report, study, checkup, recapitulation, audit, survey, view or inspection. I will simply write. That is, isn't it, the point of this quality lit game we participate in? If you are looking for stars, forks, thumbs up or down or any other kind of rating on this revue de cine you have plopped your mouse-point in the wrong place. Try Siskel and whatever the guy who replaced the dead guy's name is dot com (maybe Siskel died?). Anyhow, if I'm writing about it, you should be able to tell by my context whether you should watch the flick or not. Just here for a quick once-over.

In regards for what, I try to believe, some consider as decency yours truly has decided to compile a bit of prose in what will hopefully end up being a week-to-week exhortation. I will, with clutching unabridged honesty opinionate for those I wish to pied-piper through the film world.

I have, as of late, watched an elephantine amount of highly illegal (carrying fines each within itself up to, but not to exceed, $250,000USD, enforced by such agencies as Interpol) bootlegged/burnt/ripped DVDs. This, I can't say, I am awfully proud of. I am addicted, however.

My collection reaches for the thousands. I have seen spells where I wouldn't leave my room, much less my apartment, for weeks on end. I have fashioned myself an indoor outhouse by way of one plastic mop bucket, one 32 oz. bottle of Lime-Away and an "I got ripped at the FMX Birthday Bash," t-shirt. This is solely why I think I would be a champion choice to sherpa you through Movie Land.

The inaugural film I will bard is none other than soon to be cult classic Wes Anderson's The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.

Not since the '98 characters of Magnus Buchan, Max Fischer, and the such have I been so amazed with Wes' work. He's a da Vinci of the plastic-like ambient aesthetics played out in each of his masterpieces. Many weren't appreciative of The Royal Tenenbaums, but who's into that whole brevity thing? I, again, think Royal and his disciples, or those quite the opposite, were optimum Anderson genius. Such fluidity has also poured onto the screen in the adventures of Steven Zissou.

This genuine tall tale takes the patron from the death of Zissou's best friend and confidant--Esteban du Plantier, hefted by Anderson vet Seymour Cassel--full circle to the vengeful hunt of the looming antagonist, "Jaguar Shark."

How can a production of the almighty Wes A. be done sans Kumar? It's been pulled off. Even though one might watch every rear scene for the boyishly naive antics of the Indian screen savant, he will not be found. No Mister Little Jeans, no Pagoda, no Gupta Rajan. Nonetheless the film wins.

If you have yet to familiarize yourself with Wes' earlier work, do so now. Go out and try to find a copy of his tour de force Bottle Rocket and watch it over and over for a day or so. Memorize some lines and hang with the beat of his word. Then, after much study, you're ready for Rushmore. This was Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray suffocating you with unimaginable monotony...Hilariousness.

This, again, not being a review or critique, I will not spoil anything about the picture. I will let you on your way. Get out and see it now.

PERSPECTIVES (6/6)

The Downing Street 'bombshell' was a dud

by Jody L. Slaughter

Ever heard of the Downing Street Memo? No..? Know who won 'American Idol' this season? Yes..? What does that say about you?

Actually, the question isn't what that says about you--it's what it says about Big Media in this country. The Downing St. Memo contains the minutes of a high-level meeting between British cabinet, intelligence and military officials and Prime Minister Tony Blair regarding the Iraq War. The meeting took place on July 23, 2002, some eight months before the invasion began.

The "bombshell" portion of the document comes as Richard Dearlove, director of the Secret Intelligence Service (also known as MI6), reports on a recent Washington trip to discuss Iraq.

There was a perceptible shift in attitude. Military action was now seen as inevitable. Bush wanted to remove Saddam, through military action, justified by the conjunction of terrorism and WMD. But the intelligence and facts were being fixed around the policy. The NSC had no patience with the UN route, and no enthusiasm for publishing material on the Iraqi regime's record. There was little discussion in Washington of the aftermath after military action.

This is controversial because for months after this meeting took place, the Bush administration made repeated statements claiming that the U.S. would work with the United Nations and use war only as a last resort.

It seemed clear that Bush had made up his mind to take military action, even if the timing was not yet decided. But the case was thin. Saddam was not threatening his neighbours, and his WMD capability was less than that of Libya, North Korea or Iran. We should work up a plan for an ultimatum to Saddam to allow back in the UN weapons inspectors. This would also help with the legal justification for the use of force.

Again the document seems to show that the U.S. and our allies played up the threat of WMDs in order to rally support for the war.

Democrats are already using the memo to attack the Bush administration, even calling for his impeachment.



Now it would be easy to use this space to bash the president--but there are plenty of places to go on the web for that. My problem is not really with Bush this time, but with the mainstream media's almost total silence on this story.

The memo was first published in the Sunday Times, a British newspaper, on May 1. Now I spend a good portion of every day scouring the Web for news and I only found out about this earlier in the week. Aside from a few editorials and offhand references to the subject, the American media is paying almost no attention to this story. This strikes me as very disturbing.

True, none of the charges being made in response to the memo are really new, but that isn't the important issue. The thing which sets this memo apart is that, for the first time, accusations of the Bush administration intentionally spreading misinformation about Iraq are being confirmed by the highest government officials of our greatest ally--England.

Why isn't it being covered? Where is our "liberal media" which is so intent on overthrowing Bush? In actuality, the "liberal media" moniker is exaggerated. While it is true that liberals control the newsrooms of the "Big Three" (CBS, ABC, NBC), conservatives have had great success as well in the domains of cable television and talk-radio. Political bias only takes a news organization so far, however, before even the most staunch bleeding-heart liberal newsman or loony right wing editor must bow to that ever-present Bottom Line. That's right--dollar, dollar bill y'all.

It's not yet apparent to me where the money-angle comes into this issue, but I'm certain it's there. If both the conservative and liberal media juggernauts in this country are voluntarily silencing themselves on a hot-button topic such as this, the only reasonable explanation is that someone signing checks doesn't want it to appear. But why?

I don't have the answer. But there's really only one difference between the bloggers who have been all over this issue and Big Media who has stayed away from it like the Plague--they're getting paid, we are not.

On The Web

The memo

More than you ever wanted to know about the memo

Web site demands action from Bush